Monday, August 17, 2015

Why Vampire Hunter D may not be as cool as he seems

Admit it. We're all a little wary of hearing about how gorgeous Vampire Hunter D looks and how his face glows like the moon (author's words, not mine). But what if we discovered that, upon deeper reflection, he might not be as cool as he makes us believe?

I, like most of D's fans, was first brought into the fold via D's movies, or through Yoshitaka Amano's drawings. The books hadn't been translated back then, so our only sources were via these two mediums.

I remember at the end of the Bloodlust film, Leila has grown old as a grandmother while D remains the same. What incredible powers a dhampir has! Not only can he heal himself from grevious injuries, he also has incredibly good vampire genes that let him remain young forever. No amount of money or plastic surgery can grant us that! Since he is so old, he must be so wise too, right?

However, in the novels, if you compare his longevity to the vampire Nobility whom he encounters in his adventures, he is really...only...just a baby chick.

D wasn't born when the OSBs (Outer Space Beings) attacked Earth at least 5 millenia go. In fact, evidence suggests that he may not have been born in his human mother's womb, but actually, possibly created in a facility using his mother's fertilized ovum or something (see Vampire Hunter D vol. 13: Twin-Shadowed Knight) and imprinted with the memories of the Sacred Ancestor. So my guess is he's probably a couple centuries old? Older Nobles have been known to call him Stripling as well. Further proof is he doesn't seem to remember much about his past, hinting that again, his memories and combat skills were artificially created.

"So...not so wise now, eh, wise guy?" chortles Left Hand.

Also, while reading the books, I noticed a certain pattern in the way D speaks. Ever notice whenever someone asks him a question that he doesn't have the answer to, he answers by asking back a question, thus confusing the original person? He does that A LOT. To human eyes, his breathtaking beauty and demeanor seem cold, like why are you ignoring me?? In reality...he probably just doesn't know! To his defense, whenever he does choose to answer "I don't know", the person who asked usually gets upset because you'd expect the best looking guy in the room to have all the answers to everything! Yea, so no one's perfect.

And finally, for the big shebang... D is probably still a virgin. No, wait, here me out.

The farthest he's probably gone is to bite someone, causing rapture in the individual which supposedly is better than sex. Maybe that's why he loathes vampires so much because he sees his own faults in them. At least, that's my theory. Never is anything revealed about his love life because...perhaps he doesn't have one! From what I've read so far, the only woman he could really love is probably his own mother - she's the only person who appears before him during an intense psychological attack in Vol 2: Raiser of Gales, the only woman who's made a strong enough impression on him to be used against him in this manner.

So, in my mind, I'll just assume he's a virgin until the author proves otherwise. His Left Hand, on the other hand, does seem like he knows a thing or two about women....

chortle snort!


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