Why we secretly love Littlefinger

No? Just me? Don't be afraid to declare it!

For those who know who I'm talking about he is AKA Petyr Baelish from Game of Thrones or if you don't, watch it already!

This is he.

From Season 1, I was like, yup, he's my favorite character after Tyrion. I don't know why he has so many haters. The poor guy doesn't even have a fanlisting for gosh sake!

I will always be Hammy's #1!

Sure, he betrayed Ned Stark by not giving him support of the gold cloaks which ultimately led to Ned's imprisonment and beheading (noooo, Sean Bean!). But, on the other hand what if things all went as planned, he gave Ned the gold cloak's support, Cersei gets banished, the Iron Throne is in Ned's care and, what then, The End? The only reason we got so many volumes of books and excellent seasons of TV shows was because of Petyr's first betrayal!

And you know it baby

That doesn't give excuse for his actions because he betrays A LOT of people, but this is GAME OF THRONES people. You win or you die. If I remember correctly, they gave Littlefinger's actor the actual "Game of Thrones" line when he was chitchatting with Varys in the throne room back in Season whatever so you see how important this theme is.

Frenemies

I'm gonna be jumping around here, but didn't we all just cheer inside when Littlefinger pushed Sansa's aunt Lysa through the Moon Door? I was like, finally, that crazy a** b**** is dead!

Finally a death that I can celebrate! I've always held a soft spot for Sansa and really don't think she deserves all the hate that she gets either, so glad that she got rescued by my man Littlefinger!

Afterwards, he promptly pimps her out to a crazier a** person named Ramsay Bastard Snow Bolton which made me very sad but we can see how she became stronger because of the horrible things that happens to her.

WRONG!

In the books, her storyline gets incredibly boring as she stays in the Vale and still acts like a little girl instead of the woman she is inside, so do we have Petyr Baelish to thank? Kind of but not really yes!

Does it sound like I'm grabbing at straws here? I surely am but Petyr is the underdog not only in fans but his entire life story so I think we should give him a little moment in the spotlight.

I honestly don't know how he went from rags to riches in the novels because that is never explored but surely, he had to do some pretty disgusting things in order to get to the position that he's at. If you can't really picture it, just think about sleeping with Lysa Arryn after marrying her and you'll know what I mean.

Hell no! Nice tits though....

In fact, he's probably slept with A LOT of people. I mean, the man is a pimp for gosh sake!

And I do mean literally

Would that not also indicate some sort of prowess in bed? Well, someone had to say it!

My imaginary musings can go on and on. But I think the MAIN reason we all secretly love Littlefinger is because he cleverly orchestrated the killing of THAT LITTLE SHIT JOFFREY!

Oh, how I love this scene!

So you see, Littlefinger has actually helped us kill a lot of characters that we don't like, more than the ones we do like. He didn't actually kill Ned Stark, either, that was all on Joffrey.

Have I been able to convince all the haters? I think all of us have a little "Littlefinger" love inside. Okay, that sounded wrong.

If you can't get enough of this mustachioed man, please visit the Why we love Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish Tumblr. Because that's where I got all of these awesome gifs!

Silverfish

Was chatting with my cousin the other day about books when the topic invariably changed to silverfish.

I had somehow forgotten what the little buggers look like so I googled them just now out of curiosity and immediately got goosebumps AT THE HORROR. Seriously. Like, I couldn't even look at the pictures because I am deathly afraid of all bugs. I thought goosebumps only happened to people in horror movies. Perhaps they should make a horror movie about silverfish if they haven't already. What? They have? 

I refuse to have my blog infested with silverfish
so here's what I will picture from now on.

I thought silverfish book eaters only happened to people in hot moist environments like southeast asia! Then it just occurred to me that he lives on the LA coastline while I also live by the coast where we get a lot of rain so...huh....

I mean, I buy a lot of secondhand books so this can be a problem! I found the below silverfish damaged book image from Wikipedia and...it kinda just looks like regular wear and tear.

Yummier to eat, not to read!

How can I tell??

I just scanned my bookshelf and I think the muckiest book that I found would be this one:

I'm sorry Steven Erikson, I will never buy used books ever again.

Now are those bug eaten edges or am I seeing things? I'm getting super paranoid! They even tore through the cover!!

I want to hold all my used books wearing latex gloves and at least 2 feet from my face now. Perhaps I should get with the times and start using an e-reader. Oh wait, my e-reader is busted! Aaaaarrrgh!

Reading is a soliltairy affair....

Us poor readers, forever misunderstood. How many times have you heard the comment: "All you wanna do is read? You're so boring!"

Is reading boring? Well, it certainly isn't a dangerous activity, unless you count getting a paper cut. But through the written word, we get transported on adventures that may feel dangerous in our minds. Isn't that all that matters, that feeling that we get? Do we not also do dangerous activities for that same feeling as well?

Speaking of dangerous activities...I personally think that reading is like having an affair. You secretly develop all these hopes and passions with your characters that no one will know about except you. Unless, of course, someone else is reading the exact same novel as you, in which case you can give each other a knowing smirk, or get completely jealous that someone else feels so strongly about the same book as you do. See what I mean about having an affair?

Passionate readers often have to defend their lovers love of books. No one will understand why this relationship book is so important to you. Thank goodness my husband hasn't caught on. He just sees my book as an inert sheaf of paper. He even plays tricks on me by pulling out my bookmark and sticking it in a random page when I'm not looking. What a juvenile man. Unlike my book.

Some of us are so guilty of our affairs that we never read our books in public, for fear of being ridiculed. I don't know why, but whenever I pull out my Vampire Hunter D while waiting in a public area, I feel like all eyes are watching and I can never truly enjoy myself. I applaud those readers who just lay on a spot of grass and hold their book up like a trophy. I can never do that.

Yet why do I still insist on putting my book in my purse, even though I may not always have time for it? Because when you do have time for it and it's not around...complete disappointment. 

I think there's a reason why we all love to read books in bed. It's a place of relaxation and intimacy (with our books). You can't really get to know your book unless you're in a quiet place with little distractions and what better place than in the comfort of your bed? (unless you're that grass person who likes to lay with their book in public). It can be the last thing you see before you fall asleep or it can keep you up all night reading. Isn't that wild? 

Thankfully, I am able to separate my book versus life with my husband so you won't see me falling asleep with my book in my arms. Keith does, however, occasionally fall asleep while clutching his cell phone overnight which completely drains the battery. Sometimes it makes me wonder....

So, is an affair with your book worth dying for? Would you throw everything away just to read it? I don't really know, but if the scenario ever comes up in which you're so engrossed with your book that you completely forget about the world around you...that you're unaware that your house is on fire or your hair is on fire...then you really need to put your book down.

Afterwards, when you've put your life back in order and you're completely finished with your book and ready to move on, then please don't throw your book to the curb. Cherish it, along with all those other memories on your bookshelf, or please pass the book to me.

For I am dying to know what you're reading.

A Game of Thrones bedtime story

Was trying to put baby Luna to sleep last night but she was so hyper and alert that I decided to just go, "screw it", and continue reading the conclusion to the Game of Thrones graphic novel in bed while she rolls around next to me.

better than Rock-a-Bye baby

Supposedly you can start reading to your child any time to build good habits and bonding so I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone while she still doesn't understand a thing (and I really want to finish this!).

So in my best faux-British accent I recount the adventures of Tyrion ordered to become the next Hand of the King, Robb being crowned King of the North by his bannermen, and Daenerys giving birth to dragons!

All while I'm doing this, she gazes at me in puzzlement, snuggles in while looking at the drawings (no sex scenes, thank God), then rolls onto her back while doing STUFF THAT BABIES DO. And she's wide awake, dammit!

This is when Keith innocently walks in and I'm like, farewell! (suckers!) as I zip past him and dash downstairs while he gets the momentous and thankless task of putting our daughter to sleep.

So, in conclusion, reading A Game of Thrones picture book graphic novel will not put your baby to sleep. Perhaps I got too excited reading as my monotone quickly crescendoed into operatic qualities. Or maybe my faux British accents are just horrible. But at least I tried, okay?

I'm glad there's no internet

Keith was freaking out the other day when the power went down. What with the recent storms heralding autumn he lost the internets!

Well, sure, I guess it's not a big deal to use data on the phones but he's the type of guy who would be watching League of Legends from Twitch.tv on his tablet while playing probably Marvel Heroes on his computer while ALSO playing that new Dragonball game on his phone. So you see how he would make such a great fuss about losing the internets.

League of Legends: The Bane of all Wives

And this is where I go, "Ha ha!" For I am the reader of BOOKS and any reader of books does not require the internet! Only self-discipline, concentration, and a vast IMAGINATION. As you can see, Keith is clearly lacking in the third.

So while he is grumbling and stomping around like Cro-Magnon man, here I am boasting and scoffing as my highly evolved form cracks open a book old school because I lost the internet too.

A second later the internet cracks back on and I'm like "Whuh?" as he cheers in triumph and promptly stomps away back to our Command Center (the Command Center is like the ultimate room/shrine in the house where he houses all his games and I keep all my books - duly named because our computer desks sit across the room from each other).

I'm a little disappointed but I shrug my shoulders and follow him in because I was in the middle of doing something on the computer too. Like somehow having a lack of something makes you clamor for it more the instant it returns.

So in conclusion:

Internet: 1, Books: 0

About Emily

My little niece Emily created a book recommendations blog! So cute! She is only 10 years old but I'm so proud of her for delving into the world of blogging; it is so easy to make a webpage nowadays unlike back in the day when we had to type in HTML line for line.

She LOVES reading books - kinda reminds me of myself at her age, seeing her flip through Archie comics. She also reads young adult novels with beautiful covers, as well as those Ever After High hardcovers with illustrations. I wish I had books like that at her age!

I need an excuse to read this.
Maybe Emily will lend it to me?

I got so excited that I almost told her that I had a book blog too, to set a good example but then I realized...ah...this blog isn't really appropriate for children so...

Hodor's little hodor

So I'm reading the Game of Thrones graphic novel when I come across THIS panel:

Hodor says hi!

Um...WOAH! I don't recall seeing full frontal male nudity in the tv show, only gratuitous butt shots or female boobs and pubis. I applaud the artist of the graphic novel for not being afraid to go all the way. FYI this was found in Issue #17.

Oddly enough, Khal Drogo's little drogo is not quite so formidable as Hodor's little hodor, or maybe it's just the angle because the view from Drogo's panel is top down, which I will neglect to post here. You can just take my word for it. 

Twice in one issue, I'm impressed! But not as impressed as Hodor's new female fans.

Why I don't like Werewolves

So...I was flipping through my library's 25 cent bin when I run across the paperback shown down below and I'm like...naaaaahh.

Yeaahhh, but NO

I do love me an ol' fantasy book and I did make an effort to read the back but as soon as I see an animal on the cover my face just cringes and I repel it immediately like a vampire exposed to garlic.

It's not that I don't like animals...I just don't like reading about them, which would include all werewolf literature.

"So does that mean you're team Edward and not team Jacob? I don't see you complaining about Vampire Hunter D!" you might say.

Nope, any inclusion of werewolves automatically disqualifies the piece of vampire fiction. No offense to you, Jacob, but I don't particularly like Edward either. It's not you, it's me. In fact, the entire Twilight series is just below my mental age.

Rudimentary, my dear Watson

"Why are you so mean to werewolves? They are part human too!" chime the werewolf PITA.

I guess it all boils down to personal preference or something deep within my psyche. You see... I just don't like hairy men.

Wolverine: I am so hurt by your words!

I don't know, for some reason I just equate animals to children's fiction so anytime one uses animals as a main character, I just find it hard to relate. In fact, the last novel I read about animals was probably, like, Charlotte's Web or something.

It was Black Beauty, dumb dumb

Which is sad, because I'd probably miss out on some great fantasy novels, such as Redwall.

This story does have a happy ending, though. At the end of the day, I picked up the 2 parter Kingmaker, Kingbreaker novels by Karen Miller for 25 cents each! And I don't even know what this fantasy series is all about! But at least it doesn't have animals on the cover.

So cute, though...

Keith and I are dancing like Titans

Nope, haven't read the manga, only saw a few episodes of the anime, but watched the Attack on Titan movie! Let me just say that the idiotic main character made up for his stupidity by transforming into Super Titan.

Seriously, what's his name again?

And what is up with Potato Face? 

OM-NOM-NOM

Does she transform into Super Titan later? Because her maw is definitely big enough to cram 30 tater tots. I love me some mashed purtaters. 

Keith thought this guy was creepy. Let's just call him Apples.

Apples

Keith said he's supposed to be really cool in the manga but in the movie he gives off these creepy perverted vibes. And this is coming from a MAN. So now we've met gluttonous Potatoes and lusty Apples. Hooray!

Also, where can I sign up to be a Titan for the next movie? Keith can be the fat one and I can be the lazy one. Because that's where this review is headed.

So there we have it. My first movie review for Attack on Titan. Just skip the boring backstory and zip straight to the Titans attacking. Because that's what this movie is supposed to be all about, right?

Baron Byron Balazs, Noble of the Year

I would like to take a moment to bring attention to one of my favourite Nobles in the entire Vampire Hunter D series thus far. His name is Baron Byron Balazs.

Thar he is on the right! As usual D has to photobomb every portrait.

Baron Byron Balazs appears in the 4 part Pale Fallen Angel series, which spans Vampire Hunter D vol. 11 & 12. He is so cool that his story gets 4 parts! 4!

"But what about Mayerling?" says legions of Mayerling fans. "Mayerling falls in love with a human, like Romeo and Juliet. Their story is so tragic and sweet!"

God, Mayerling is so good looking in the manga!

No! This article will focus on the Baron only! Compared to the Baron, Mayerling is a nincompoop!

Which brings me to my first point on why Baron Balazs is so cool. Even though Mayerling is in love with a human, he still ends up biting at least one villager in order to whisk her away from her father, thus causing her entire village to become victims of the Nobility because of that one mishap.

Baron Byron Balazs, on the other hand, has not bitten a single human throughout his journey with D or even before then because...he just can't. He was programmed not to by the Sacred Ancestor from the time he was a baby in his mother's womb! Instead, he feels compassion for humans and gets his blood fix via those little blood capsules just like D.

I also can't help but feel sorry for the poor Baron. Unlike D, whose father is the *ahem* Sacred Ancestor, at least D's father seems to almost love him even, his one success. The Baron's father, on the other hand, hires a whole bunch of assassins to kill him, because he is ashamed of his human tendencies. His stupid father even tried to kill him as a child by exposing him to the sunlight! It's amazing how normal Baron Balazs turned out, despite having a batshit crazy dad.

Like D, he also has ungodly fighting skills, attacking people via projectile flashes that come out of his cape. In fact, D's Left Hand has commented on more than one occasion that the Baron's skills may rival or even surpass those of D's own. Someone even stronger than D, who is even stronger than most Nobles? Unheard of!

He is also able to survive in the rain and amidst running water, normally a great detriment to the Nobility's movements. Thus far, only D showed this kind of physical stamina. Whilst D is only a half noble dhampir, Byron is a full-on Noble. Just imagine how much harder it must be on him!

And did I mention mindspeak? He has this amaze-balls telepathic skill in which he can speak directly into people's minds, often from within the comfort of his amazingly pimped out carriage. Even D can't do that! 

And perhaps his most important quality that I think outshines D by miles and miles is that he is a perfect gentleman. D should definitely take some notes:

Just imagine this theoretical scenario in which I am trying to cross this chasm. What would D do? He would simply say, "too bad," (or more like ignore me) as he leaps across on his own, perhaps only zipping back to rescue me last minute if I decide to leap across anyway. Baron Byron Balazs, on the other hand, would say, "May I assist you young lady?" as he gathers me in his arms and we leap across together and land elegantly on the other side with nary a ruffle in my hair...well, you get the picture.

Why Vampire Hunter D may not be as cool as he seems

Admit it. We're all a little wary of hearing about how gorgeous Vampire Hunter D looks and how his face glows like the moon (author's words, not mine). But what if we discovered that, upon deeper reflection, he might not be as cool as he makes us believe?

I, like most of D's fans, was first brought into the fold via D's movies, or through Yoshitaka Amano's drawings. The books hadn't been translated back then, so our only sources were via these two mediums.

I remember at the end of the Bloodlust film, Leila has grown old as a grandmother while D remains the same. What incredible powers a dhampir has! Not only can he heal himself from grevious injuries, he also has incredibly good vampire genes that let him remain young forever. No amount of money or plastic surgery can grant us that! Since he is so old, he must be so wise too, right?

However, in the novels, if you compare his longevity to the vampire Nobility whom he encounters in his adventures, he is really...only...just a baby chick.

D wasn't born when the OSBs (Outer Space Beings) attacked Earth at least 5 millenia go. In fact, evidence suggests that he may not have been born in his human mother's womb, but actually, possibly created in a facility using his mother's fertilized ovum or something (see Vampire Hunter D vol. 13: Twin-Shadowed Knight) and imprinted with the memories of the Sacred Ancestor. So my guess is he's probably a couple centuries old? Older Nobles have been known to call him Stripling as well. Further proof is he doesn't seem to remember much about his past, hinting that again, his memories and combat skills were artificially created.

"So...not so wise now, eh, wise guy?" chortles Left Hand.

Also, while reading the books, I noticed a certain pattern in the way D speaks. Ever notice whenever someone asks him a question that he doesn't have the answer to, he answers by asking back a question, thus confusing the original person? He does that A LOT. To human eyes, his breathtaking beauty and demeanor seem cold, like why are you ignoring me?? In reality...he probably just doesn't know! To his defense, whenever he does choose to answer "I don't know", the person who asked usually gets upset because you'd expect the best looking guy in the room to have all the answers to everything! Yea, so no one's perfect.

And finally, for the big shebang... D is probably still a virgin. No, wait, here me out.

The farthest he's probably gone is to bite someone, causing rapture in the individual which supposedly is better than sex. Maybe that's why he loathes vampires so much because he sees his own faults in them. At least, that's my theory. Never is anything revealed about his love life because...perhaps he doesn't have one! From what I've read so far, the only woman he could really love is probably his own mother - she's the only person who appears before him during an intense psychological attack in Vol 2: Raiser of Gales, the only woman who's made a strong enough impression on him to be used against him in this manner.

So, in my mind, I'll just assume he's a virgin until the author proves otherwise. His Left Hand, on the other hand, does seem like he knows a thing or two about women....

chortle snort!

Can I borrow D's Left Hand?

Hey there....

As Luna cries yet again as I attempt to vaccuum the floor (she's scared of the vaccuum cleaner, yeeesh) I can't help but fantasize how great it would be to have my very own Left Hand to help around the house.

Vampire Hunter D's parasitic Left Hand has been indispensable to D's adventures, bringing him back to life numerous times, catching blades in its cute little mouth, providing human conversation when D can't be bothered to answer (or too lazy to, I tell you)....

How useful would it be to use Left Hand's gale force wind to suck up all the cobwebs, spiders and dust around the house in one second or less? Kind of like Doraemon's pocket, Left Hand can also store useless crap in its interdimensional storage space mouth!

Whooosh!!

Ta-dah!

In fact, Left Hand would make such a great babysitter, he could even change Luna's diaper, catch her when she falls, rock her to sleep at night...

...while simultaneously sing her bawdy lullabies and teach her how to stick up her middle finger.

...Nevermind.

Never read Vampire Hunter D while eating mystery meat

"The brutally crushed head's right eye dangled over the chest by its optic nerve, the lips and nose had been turned inside out, and every last tooth was missing. A dry substance that appeared to be brains spilled from the ears . . ."

...and as I read this passage from Vampire Hunter D: Tyrant's Stars, the supposedly chicken meat gyoza I'm chewing in my mouth all of a sudden...feels...oh god, what exactly is this mush in my mouth that looks red on the inside with juices spurting out, oh god oh god oh god blarrrrgggghh.

Why Luna is a Vampire Noble

In the post-apocalyptic world of Hideyuki Kikuchi's Vampire Hunter D, the vampire Nobility or "Nobles" as they stylize themselves fear the usual vampirific things such as sunlight, wooden stake or steel through the heart, crosses, etc.

However, one thing that makes them squeee to the point that it seems almost ridiculous is...water.

Vampire Nobles have been known to drown in water only a foot deep. So the best way to hide from the Nobility is to literally hide behind your toilet!

Which brings me back to why I believe Luna is a Noble.

Every time she hears the sound of running water in the tub she gets SCARED. If that isn't the mark of the Nobility then I don't know what is. 

This is discounting the fact that she often feeds ravenously at my breast, and has even been known to bite me a time or two. I know her top front fangs teeth have yet to come out but, until they do and can prove otherwise, Luna has the makings of the Nobility.

Besides, doesn't the name "Luna" sound like a beautiful Noble gazing up into the moonlight?

Vampire Hunter D is a half Noble Dhampir. Arguably the best-looking man in the universe. Cover art for Vampire Hunter D vol. 6 by Yoshitaka Amano.